I'm in a bit of a funk, writing-wise. I actually made a new-years resolution to write at least a story a month, and even if it works out as well as all New Years resolutions do, I think the spirit of it is something I'd actually like to follow through on.

Sherlock is the natural starting place. Most fic I read these days is in that fandom, and I've always felt I could make more of a contribution there than I have given all the fanworks I've enjoyed. But when I sat down to write, I found I just don't have much of a feel for the story they're trying to tell. I've just lot the point of it all; or maybe I've listened to too many people who each think it's an entirely different story. It's not even that I think the canon went wrong in a definite way and needs fixing. I've just lost the plot of it all.

ACD-canon is attractive, too, but as a writer I've always wanted to be in kind of dialogue with the themes and canon and whatnot, and the ACD fandom seems to have taken the Marry him, kill him, or do what you will to heart in a way I don't feel quite at home with. Not that they're really wrong- Doyle himself was so haphazard, I'm not sure what he was trying to accomplish beyond the money. Plus, so much of the Doyle fandom really knows their Victoriana in a way I simply don't, and I'm not even sure how to begin educating myself. It just seems like so much work to write in that period, and I've only ever managed to do it clumsily when I've tried.

I've been thinking about diving back into Tolkien again. Canon-wise, I know so much of it frontwards and backwards. The man had themes I still have a lot to say about, the characters are rich. I could certainly scrape together a nuzgul or three after all these years. But I feel so disconnected from the fandom somehow- I don't know where the Tolkien fandom even congregates these days, and the few stories I've written these last few years have felt more like stories based around Tolkien than fanfic, kind of woven into what's going on in that community. I'm not sure if that distinction makes much since. 

Maybe I need something else entirely. I feel like I've been gorging myself on visual media — tv and movies — when what I'm really hardwired for is books, it's just that I've not had the energy to do much reading these days. I'd love a good new book or book series, maybe with a fandom I could enjoy playing with afterward. But again, I'm not quite sure where to start. It's not quite writer's block because I feel like I'm ready to write again. But it does feel a bit like I'm a vampire, knocking at the door and waiting to be invited in. 

Feh. I suppose I should just bite the bullet and write something. I certainly am craving that experience of having-written.


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