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happiness

Last week, I took The Kid down to Brooklyn one night, and wrote this post on the way back but never quite got around to posting it. Consider this a promissory note that I'll have fun again one of these days. :-)

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Yes, I do own other (unopened!) DVDs at home, but in my defense, it *was* Marvel...

So, I've apparently gotten on a cheap DVD schtick recently. Tonight's acquisitions include Pacific Rim and Winter Soldier, the latter on BluRay - I'm hoping my laptop has a dual player or I can figure out a way to access it. I've probably picked up 6-7 others in the last three weeks or so. There's something about the thrill of actually finding something decent, and at these prices it's a much better investment than lottery tickets.

I think I finally understand the allure of those, though. There's something about finding a pleasant surprise, not because you bough exactly what you like, but because the universe just likes you that much. When life feels stacked against you, being told that there's hope to think it might be stacked in your favor is worth *way* more than the objective value of whatever you get. And I'm *so* not in the same category as people who have that kind of circumstance-driven hopelessness. I have a job, even if it's one that's very stressful these days. It's just that, coming on the heels of grad school, it does feel a bit like I don't deserve nice things.

Tonight was good, though. The Kid and I went down to Barclay Center for ice cream, and did some window-shopping and Target-browsing while we were down there. She's turning into a real head-turner, and is definitely a geek but also of the high femme mold - one of the places we window-shopped was Victoria's Secrets, and she has very definite tastes. Also very definite opinions on the fact that I never wear make-up, never even really learned how. But she's actually very healthy about all that, she likes feeling like she looks nice. Which is really very cool. I grew up thinking that the only way I could be interested in science, theology, politics, Star Trek, etc. was to be "one of the guys." Which meant jeans and backpacks rather than skirts and purses. It's nice to see her not feeling like she has to choose.

I've probably spent more time with her this last week than I have the six weeks prior. It's as good a way as any to set boundaries, though, and it definitely has me feeling more... connected. One thing the job searching has underscored for me is how isolated I've become (the whole identifying references thing). But probably even more to the point, it has me feeling a bit connected with folks again. Kind of wish I had more adults I could just chill with, at the moment. But The Kid is a nice change of pace in herself.

Her mum's going to officially *kill* me, though. It's a school night, and it's going to be nearly midnight before I have her home again. :-)

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
azalaisdep
Jun. 10th, 2016 08:42 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you had a fun evening out and a bit of non-work human contact. Try to keep setting boundaries that let you have that...
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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