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Saw this over at Facebook, and it earned a giggle. From David Bader's Zen Judaism.

Sayings of a Jewish Buddha

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish.

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about?

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy.

There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.

The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.

Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
You might want to see a specialist.

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

I've been feeling decidedly more Jewish than I think I ever have. Part of it's living in NY and no longer living out of a Jesuit school. Part of it is the folks I live with. And part of it is just being too worn out with CHristianity, the not-understanding theological concepts (what the heck is a trinity, anyway? and how can Christ pray to Himself as a model of Christian virtue?) and frustration over being divided over stuff like that. Judaism as I've experienced it is more organic, more integrated, and where there are different movements those movements are driven by differences I can actually understand. Too much history, too many years of having all my Smurfs nicked, I guess.

I'm not closed to Christianity totally and see a lot in that tradition worth holding to. Culturally, experience-wise, that's definitely my home turf. But I'm more of a mutt than I ever was these days, and I think I'm okay with that.

Basically this is my way of saying this funny bit tickled a funny bone, because it feels very much like where I live. (I'm also into Taoism.)


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 11th, 2016 12:43 am (UTC)
LOL LOL!!! These are terrific, and I'm going to share them with my parents. We're all rather non-practicing Jews, but of course it's always there under the surface. :)
Feb. 11th, 2016 12:57 am (UTC)
"Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems."

Not sure I've ever heard such a thoroughly Jewish statement.
Feb. 11th, 2016 02:06 am (UTC)
This is hilarious.
I had more than a couple non-Jewish friends who at some point felt the same way about Christianity vs Judaism. That Judaism is more organic and if not more logical then at least more consistent. And I had quite a number of Jewish friends who felt that because of that Judaism felt stale and suffocating and were attracted to those almost absurd (in a good way) challenges of Christianity.
Feb. 11th, 2016 04:03 am (UTC)
Excellent sayings. I have a great respect for Judaism. I admire Jesus and his teachings but all the dogma troubles me.
Feb. 11th, 2016 02:49 pm (UTC)
Oy, the Yiddish accent I was hearing in my head while reading these was a treasure! The basic practicality that comes through at the end of each statement is such a part of being Jewish. Although I don't practice or attend, I was still raised that way and that practicality is something I occasionally fall back to when necessary. It was a delight to read these.

- Erulisse (one L)
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )



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