fidesquaerens (marta_bee) wrote,

Tonight's doctor visit went a lot better than I would have thought. Not medically but experience-wise. It was just to go over some bloodwork to see if my meds needed adjusting, which they do, a bit. My numbers aren't where they need to be because I've been struggling with a bit of a depression flare-up lately and one of the things I've been really bad about is remembering to take my meds. I forget to take them a lot of the time totally, and when I do it's often at the end of the day rather than the beginning, which is better than not taking it but I've been told not a good thing.

Which unlikely contributes to said depression flare-up if your body is chemically out of whack. But the point is, I was half expecting to get a stern talking-to. Turns out while the numbers need addressing, they're not quite as bad as I thought. I'd lost another five pounds (through unhealthy depression-fuelled lack of appetite, but it looks good on the chart. And it was an after-hours thing where it wasn't so busy; I ended up just sitting there for a good half hour and talking to him, while he almost made light of said numbers. "Oh, that's not nearly so bad" - "you need to eat less starch but that can be managed through diet just fine" - "your cholesterol's a bit high, yes, but your proportions of good to bad is actually really good" etc. He's not my regular doctor, but having the time and the positivity made such a difference. Really.

Then, because I was cheap and bus fare increasingly is not, I decided to walk home. It started raining halfway and was chillier than I thought, and I'd foolishly left my jacket at home because, you know, it's nearly April and seemed warmer earlier in the day. It meant that I ended up walking diagonally across my park for the first time. It was slightly muddy and cold, but also starkly beautiful. My glasses kept fogging over, and the lamplights were twinkling like fairy lights, and while I'm sure it wasn't healthy, the cold was brisk and felt kind of nice even when it didn't. It really is a nice little park, and not a half-bad walk.
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