JON STEWART: OK, guys, calm down! What I'm trying to say is, should being Mormon disqualify you from the Presidency? I mean, you both believe in Jesus, right?
SAM BEE & WYATT CENAC: Yes.
JON STEWART: So as long as a Republican candidate believes in the basic tenets, you know, I am the way, the truth, and the light. No one comes through the Father except through me.
(Sam and Wyatt murmur approval)
JON STEWART: Let the one amongst you who is without sin be the first to cast a stone.
WYATT CENAC: You're right. You're so right.
SAM BEE: We are fighting about such silly stuff.
JON STEWART: Exactly. If you want to be perfect, go sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in Heaven.
SAM BEE: OK, slow down there, Chairman Mao.
JON STEWART: The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same.
SAM BEE & WYATT CENAC: No.... no, no, no, no, no.
WYATT CENAC: What kind of Occupy Wall Street shit is that?
SAM BEE: Um, yeah, no. I'm pretty sure that Jesus was a free market guy.
JON STEWART: Well guys, I am just quoting scripture.
SAM BEE & WYATT CENAC: Cuuuuuuuuullllllltttttttt!!!!!
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