I could sing you a song worthy of Martin Freeman (the king of swear words). Hint: the chorus would start off something along the lines of "J.P. Morgan Chase, // you incompetent !@#$'s, // this is not the way to handle your mistakes."
I periodically buy checks by the sheet rather than by the book because I write checks so rarely, I don't carry mine with me regularly and always forget it when I'm going somewhere I'll need to write a check. So on those days I'll pop by a bank and buy a sheet of desk checks. You swipe your debit card and pay a per-sheet fee for checks preprinted with your account info and address. Trouble is, this time they gave me a sheet with someone else's information. Meaning when I wrote A. a check for my half of the rent, the bank took the money out of her account. Or didn't, as I'm sure this nice woman whose account they connected the checks to didn't have an extra $600 in her account at the holidays. The upshot is:
1 - I now have the bank account number and address of a complete stranger.
2 - I wrote a check for a large amount that A.'s bank tried to take out of this nice lady's account. Meaning this woman bounced a check the week between Christmas and New Year's.
3 - A. then mailed in the check for our rent, expecting the money to be in her account. Said check bounced just after she'd left town for the holidays.
I'm honestly not sure what to hope for: that A.'s bank when she deposited it caught on that the name of the check didn't match the signature by a long shot (and so thought A. was passing a bad check); or that it didn't and this nice lady who I've never met had her bank account emptied and a ding on her record right at Christmas.
And what is Chase's response? No apologies. No assurances they'll right things for this person. No offering to cover A.'s bank fees or late fees or clear up things so she doesn't have a ding against *her* for writing a bad check. A simple statement that I'll have to go into my local branch and fix "my mistake" (this after admitting it was most likely due to a coding error on their end) in person. And not just any bank but the bank where I bought the checks, in Manhattan.
I'm hearing that Martin Freeman song (http://whiffling10.tumblr.com/post/54170028804/i-made-a-martin-freeman-song) louder and louder. [bad words] [bad words] [bad words] [bad words], Marta out...
ETA - I really do recognize I should have checked the checks to make sure they had my name on them. That would have been wise, and in the future I would. But (and yeah, I know, when you throw a but in it pretty much throws personal reality out the window) at the same time, you REALLY SHOULD BE ABLE to trust a major bank to make the leap from a swiped card to connecting the product they sell to the right account. There's not even any data entry on that one. Gah.