March 1st, 2014

sherlock

quick note

I just wanted to let people know that I'm reading everything people say around here but that I'm having a rather hard time actually replying to comments. It's psychological - something I deal with on and off again that makes actually starting something, even something I'd really like to do, take a lot of energy. [A not-uncommon way the mind has of dealing with the hyperarousal that goes along with my kind of PTSD, if you're interested; as my shrink explained it, my brain has a heightened reaction to a lot of things that I don't feel like it's safe or appropriate to act on, so I kind of squoosh down everything, which often makes it hard to work out that here's something I can react to.] I'm apparently in a period whee that's more of an issue than normal, and it's why I have a lot of emails unanswered, grading work piling up ... and comments here that I'd like to reply to but just don't seem able to.

I'm okay. Comparatively so, I mean. I'm watching Doctor Who tonight and enjoying it. And I'm reading comments people have left, both personal encouragement and comments about other things I've written around here. I'm enjoying that and really appreciate it.

Actually replying, though, is turning out to be really difficult for a bunch of reasons. It's not that I don't appreciate the comments, and I wanted to at least say that much. Thanks for being there for me.