fidesquaerens (marta_bee) wrote,

diet and body woes

Ever since I was diagnosed with diabetes last summer I've worked very hard to lose weight, not for aesthetic reasons but because I know that makes a huge difference with this particular disease. Through medication and diet I had it pretty much under control. I still had to be careful about what I ate, of course, but overall no symptoms, good glucose levels, etc. As a side benefit I'd gone down two trouser sizes and was feeling pretty good about how I looked. Not that I felt bad before - I'm honestly not that conscious of how I look physically - but I started feeling cuter and all that.

Then my insurance stopped covering my drug and because there was a generic version in the same "family." Only it didn't work for me and I gained a lot of the weight I had worked so hard to lose back, because my body just wasn't metabolizing like it should. Which was enough of a *bleh* feeling (I really hate insurance drama because it makes me feel like such a commodity, and like I'm being played by the system). I also feel fat now, whereas I didn't feel very much one way or the other.

The good news is my doc got the insurance company to cover the meds again somehow, so I'm back on what works. And I know how to lose the weight again. The bad news is I actually have to lose it again. I'd worked so hard at that!

The biggest problem was that my trousers are now either uncomfortably tight, making me feel even more fat than normal, or else they're so baggy I don't feel like I'm properly dressed. So I thought Id go shopping to see if I could find anything. No such luck. Even Kmart, you can't get cheap trousers or jeans for less than about $25. That surprised me - really, somehow I expected at least $10 cheaper, and as I am hoping this is a temporary condition, it goads me to lay down major cash. still haven't decided what I'll do.

In other shopping news:

  • Capris are evil. Does anyone look good in those?
  • similarly for gathered pockets, where the fabric is pulled together so it looks like there are stretch marks on the cloth.
  • On shoes (which I actually did buy): can we please have something other than huge clunky rubber/plastic sole thing and a spike heel? I had to go into the men's section, and thye looked way sharper than anything I could walk around in from the women's side of the aisle.

I'm actually very frustrated by this shopping. I don't like clothes, don't like thinking about them. Especially for this reason. *grumbles*
Tags: weight
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