… or at least a personal sort.
When I write, I use the wrong words. I don’t mean less than optimal words; I mean I get things twisted around in my head and use a similar-sounding word or repeat the same verb from the previous sentence. I don’t know why I do this. I try my hardest not to do this. I read and re-read but these things don’t jump out at me. It’s like being dyslexic with full words.
And I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve always struggled with this to a certain degree but in the last several years it’s gotten worse. Toward the end of the MEFAs if I didn’t have someone proof my posts I’d end up saying things that were wrong, no matter how hard I tried to avoid it. I’ve seen it in my academic writing and especially with my blogging, which is usually rougher than my fic or professional writing is. It’s like I’m dyslexic but with full words or something.
I know I’m not stupid but it really, really feels like that sometimes. And it’s frustrating because inside my mind things really do make sense and are well-organized. They just don’t come out that way. It’s beyond frustrating, a lot of the times.
Thanks for hearing me out on this one, and thanks for everyone who can see past my “interesting” word choice or thinks I’m worth listening to anyway.