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putting the ACK! in tenure track

http://mlajobs.tumblr.com/

Some of my favorites:

"University of Virginia seeks Professor of English with specialty in “educational” technology for setting up MOOCs. Position will be responsible for attracting national attention with bombastic, unproven claims about the future of education; ideal candidate will be heavily read in David Brooks. Teaching load is ∞."

"
The City College of New York seeks Assistant Prof to teach whatever is the current fad and then to go quietly when enrollment shifts. Interests should include all the classic literature as well as a firm grounding in current scholarly trends, combined with the flexibility to anticipate the whims of the administration."

"
The Department of English at the University of Wisconsin-Madison seeks an energetic and visionary scholar of Victorian poetry. Tenure evaluations have recently been sped up thanks to our ability to subpoena your email and phone conversations. Promotion decisions have also been made swifter through the elimination of union agitators. The University of Wisconsin-Madison is an Equal Opportunity Employer."

I'm honestly not sure how funny these are to people outside academia, but they made me chuckle!  

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Comments

marta_bee
Sep. 24th, 2012 02:44 am (UTC)
Re: I'm laughing right now
I think I find these so funny because I'm a year out from actually being on the market. Check back with me this time next year and I'll probably be crying into my coffee.
dwimordene_2011
Sep. 24th, 2012 02:54 am (UTC)
Re: I'm laughing right now
"Large Private School seeks desperately debt-laden candidate to contribute to breaking tenure. Must have an AOS in philosophy of language, be willing to teach 4/4 load, produce two books a year in applied ethics using a Heideggerian methodology, and explain to the M & E people why their not thinking about the mold in the department fridge doesn't make it not exist. Non-tenure track position, part time, salary commensurate with our whim. Women especially welcome to apply. Equal Opportunity Exploiter."

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